Bright Spots

Oh boy guys. I’ve had a few gloomy days. Whenever I move to a new place (which has been 3 times in the last 6 or 7 years) I go through a few weeks of pretty intense homesickness. For the past few days I have just wanted so badly to be hanging out in my grandma’s kitchen. But through my silly tears and copious amounts of tea and phone calls to my momma about how horrible everything is, I’ve been trying to focus on the bright spots. I’m just not very good at it. I’m a pessimist by nature, and it’s hard to change old habits. But here I am, working on myself, in front of you!

There have been literal bright spots…

Bright Green

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Bright Red

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Bright Blue

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Bright Everything

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And there have been figurative bright spots too.

Ad purchased his suit for the wedding. I’m probably a bit biased, but I think he looks darn good in it. And it was a buy-one-get-one-free type of deal which was extra sweet! I cannot wait to marry that guy (who I believe is possibly at least 40% saint).

I got some veggie starts and dug in the dirt. The bugs are certainly bigger here, and so are the grubs. I stumbled across some mighty huge ones while weeding the raised bed. I swear they had little arms with claw thingies on the front. I was terrified, and promptly bashed their heads in and then cut them in half with my trowel. Upon further inspection and some quick googling, I’ve determined that they were scorpion grub. I do NOT want to talk about it. And I WILL fight them for my cherry tomatoes if it comes to that.

I also got an Easter Basket from my best friend in the whole wide world. It was full of perfect goodies (she is always inside my brain), but I’m particularly smitten with the pottery mugs that she made herself! I want a whole kitchen cupboard full of the things now. Thankfully she has obliged, as long as I give her time.

I’m also starting a new volunteer position at an Adult Day Health Center that is opening up. I love their philosophy on holistic aging, which means caring for the biological, psychological, social, and spiritual aspects of a person’s life. In addition to supplying all the normal things that an Adult Day Health Center gives to it’s participants (meals, activities, socialization) there will be other life enriching offerings, like an herb wall, monthly organic CSA samples, meditation classes, healthy cooking classes, massages, and oodles of caregiver support. Eeeeek! It’s wonderful, and it’s the future, and it’s the way we should be doing things for older adults and adults with disabilities. My job will be to recruit, train, and oversee other volunteers who will help to make the center run. I think it will be an honor really, to work with volunteers who are so eager to give their time to others.

I’m re-starting my crusade to become a dual citizen. Because my dad is still a British citizen (thanks daddy!) I have a claim for citizenship as his descendant. I started this process once before, but got waylaid by some lost documents which have since been found. I can’t explain to anyone why doing this is so important to me. Trust me, I’ve tried, and I sound a bit mad. But it’s in my blood and I’ve wanted it since I was a little girl and I need to do it. So there!

Whew! All of those things are good, but I am so bad with change. It terrifies me. Even when I’m the one who decided to make the change, there is a terrible moment where my stomach feels disgusting and I think “Oh heavens, what have a done, why could I not have let things as they were?”. But I suppose those little terrifying moments are important, to get you to new places, to where you want to be.

Can you all just remind me of that please, when I’m in the middle of my mini-meltdowns?

11 thoughts on “Bright Spots

  1. Through my lack of technological wisdom, I accidentally deleted a lovely comment from my west coast mom…I’ve copied and pasted it here from my e-mail alerts because I love the quote she included and thought it might mean something to others as well!… “Well, my dear, you are “so old, so young”. I continue to be in awe of your wisdom and resilience. Being down, terrified of change and homesick are all perfectly okay human emotions. What I see you doing is looking for the good, finding your happiness and RISING UP. That’s the key. As Helen Keller said: “To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.” Love you!”

  2. Chin up and forge ahead! You are getting to see a new place and meet new people. Your new “job” sounds exciting too. And the wedding is getting closer! Lots to be thankful for.

  3. I know we never talk, but I know how you feel! I’m only loving 2.5 hours away, but it’s the first time I’ve moved more than 45 minutes from home… I’m excited and terrified for the new start!

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