Adventures in Gluten Free Baking, or, How to Make Poorly Delineated Cinnamon Sugar Blobs

Let me first say that I am not choosing to go gluten-free, nor am I likely to in the future after today’s attempt.  There are just some things that I was not meant to do, and gluten-free baking is one of them, right up there with runway modeling and staying up past 11:30 at night.

I was trying to make sticky buns for a work brunch, but to call these babies sticky buns or cinnamon rolls implies a level of shapeliness that is just not there. They are clearly blobs of gluten-free sweetness. The work party is to celebrate a milestone reached in a pilot program I am involved with. The whole thing has just taken off and is growing pretty quickly. It’s headed by a wonderful geriatrician, who happens to have Celiac Disease. I figured the least I could do for the man who gainfully employed me fresh out of college was to make something that he could eat at his own party. So off I went to the grocery store, to buy all kinds of bizarre flours and starches, the prices of which added up to princely sum. But it’s all good. I’m taking one for the team.

Clearly I am unable to follow recipes. I generally steer away from online recipes, especially if it’s something time consuming, because I’m never quite confident that they’re any good. Anybody can slap anything on the web and say it’s a good idea (ahem….myself included I suppose). But I found a recipe that got stellar reviews so I figured I was safe. I was not safe. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the recipe. I think it’s probably me. I can’t read recipes, and measure ingredients, and talk to the dog, and dance in the kitchen at the same time. It’s beyond my skill level. My dough was way too wet. Even after adding extra dry ingredients I had something that looked more like cake batter than sticky bun dough. Wet dough is pretty darn difficult to roll up into a log and cut in slices.

Thus, I ended up with these yummy little blobs. They’re pretty darn good, as long as you don’t look at them while you’re eating them. At all. I’m sure any true foodies gazing at the photo below are experiencing some intense retina burn right now. I cut them into bar shapes, and will introduce them to the team as sticky bars….not sticky blobs. And then no one will know that I made a mess of it all!

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I think the most impressive thing is not that I made some poorly delineated gluten-free cinnamon sugar blobs, but that I managed to make them w/out crying.